Then I'll begin
Parents
Your children, if aged 13 and under have only ever lived under a New Labour government. That means you have not had to take responsibility for their education, discipline, welfare, behaviour or aspirations. You have been taught to give them all they require and send the bill to the Government who promised to look after everything as long as you voted for them. Nike trainers, PS3's on demand, iPhones for under 10's, the lot. and if you couldn't afford it, Labour made sure that every credit shark in the business could lend you money you couldn't afford to repay.
If your partner legged it, so what, more tax credits. If little Timmy punched a teacher, so what, he'll get extra sweets from an ADHD diversity coordinator and if he burnt down the house, so what, Labour would give you another one. If he can't read and write, so what, he'll go on the Social and get a flat for his now pregnant girlfriend he met last night. No need to worry about the kids, that's what the state is for, ain't my fault, innit.
Well guess what? That's coming to an end. If you didn't bother to nurture your offspring, the State will no longer take responsibility for them. You will. Chardonnay is not going to get a council house because she dropped them as soon as she could to the first passing asylum seeker with no forwarding address. She and her halfling are going to be living in your spare room, smoking your fags and wolfing down your pot noodles.
Little Connor (who is an angel, says his Nan) is not going to get one on one tuition in an effort to stop him hitting the teachers. He's going to be smashing up YOUR front room instead of a classroom. Oh, and he's not going for two weeks camping with the council diversity coordinator where he can run riot and you get a fortnights heavy drinking in. He's staying with you. Ripping up your stuff to show how creative he is. And the army of hairy lippedsandalistas you normally rang and demanded "sort 'im aht, he's doin' my 'ead in" aren't going to be there anymore.
In short, the buck now stops with you. Not me, the taxpayer. Enjoy the fruits of your loins. Every horrifying minute stuck with what you allowed Labour to create in your name. Put down the remote and teach your child to read. Sit at a dinner table and eat with your child. Meals YOU have cooked. Teach him the value of food, conversation, family, money, hard work, ambition, aspiration and dreams. Show him knowledge. Teach him manners. Teach him the consequences of his decisions. Teach him respect.
Because no matter what they promised, Labour certainly didn't and now you are going to have to pick up the pieces. I wish you luck, you're going to need it.
Children
Your world is about to change dramatically. In order to survive, you are going to have to do things you have never done before. You are going to have to acquire skills that will enable you to live in a world where there are no free hand outs and no one is being paid to put up with your abuse anymore. Trust me, they aren't going to do it for free either.
If you decide that school is a pain, family is shit, money is everything and having a laugh whilst someone else pays and deals with the mess, then you are in for a shock. It isn't your fault but it IS up to you to sort it out. And you can. You have a unique opportunity to crawl out of the pond that so many of today's neets are mindlessly swimming in and you'd better make sure you're in the first wave who do, because sure as eggs, the ladder will be pulled up.
Study. Read a book. Gain knowledge that others do not have, it will make you valuable. It will mean you do not have to live with your mum, her numerous boyfriends and Chardonnays screaming brat "doing your head in". It will give you independence to live your life as you wish, not as a Politician wished you to live it. It will give you freedom.
One thing is for sure, if you want what Labour promised, an easy idle life with no responsibility, then you are going to have to finance it yourself.
As Liam Byrne said "There's no money left". And he wasn't joking.
If your partner legged it, so what, more tax credits. If little Timmy punched a teacher, so what, he'll get extra sweets from an ADHD diversity coordinator and if he burnt down the house, so what, Labour would give you another one. If he can't read and write, so what, he'll go on the Social and get a flat for his now pregnant girlfriend he met last night. No need to worry about the kids, that's what the state is for, ain't my fault, innit.
Well guess what? That's coming to an end. If you didn't bother to nurture your offspring, the State will no longer take responsibility for them. You will. Chardonnay is not going to get a council house because she dropped them as soon as she could to the first passing asylum seeker with no forwarding address. She and her halfling are going to be living in your spare room, smoking your fags and wolfing down your pot noodles.
Little Connor (who is an angel, says his Nan) is not going to get one on one tuition in an effort to stop him hitting the teachers. He's going to be smashing up YOUR front room instead of a classroom. Oh, and he's not going for two weeks camping with the council diversity coordinator where he can run riot and you get a fortnights heavy drinking in. He's staying with you. Ripping up your stuff to show how creative he is. And the army of hairy lippedsandalistas you normally rang and demanded "sort 'im aht, he's doin' my 'ead in" aren't going to be there anymore.
In short, the buck now stops with you. Not me, the taxpayer. Enjoy the fruits of your loins. Every horrifying minute stuck with what you allowed Labour to create in your name. Put down the remote and teach your child to read. Sit at a dinner table and eat with your child. Meals YOU have cooked. Teach him the value of food, conversation, family, money, hard work, ambition, aspiration and dreams. Show him knowledge. Teach him manners. Teach him the consequences of his decisions. Teach him respect.
Because no matter what they promised, Labour certainly didn't and now you are going to have to pick up the pieces. I wish you luck, you're going to need it.
Children
Your world is about to change dramatically. In order to survive, you are going to have to do things you have never done before. You are going to have to acquire skills that will enable you to live in a world where there are no free hand outs and no one is being paid to put up with your abuse anymore. Trust me, they aren't going to do it for free either.
If you decide that school is a pain, family is shit, money is everything and having a laugh whilst someone else pays and deals with the mess, then you are in for a shock. It isn't your fault but it IS up to you to sort it out. And you can. You have a unique opportunity to crawl out of the pond that so many of today's neets are mindlessly swimming in and you'd better make sure you're in the first wave who do, because sure as eggs, the ladder will be pulled up.
Study. Read a book. Gain knowledge that others do not have, it will make you valuable. It will mean you do not have to live with your mum, her numerous boyfriends and Chardonnays screaming brat "doing your head in". It will give you independence to live your life as you wish, not as a Politician wished you to live it. It will give you freedom.
One thing is for sure, if you want what Labour promised, an easy idle life with no responsibility, then you are going to have to finance it yourself.
As Liam Byrne said "There's no money left". And he wasn't joking.
By Old Holborn
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