Israel Just Makes It Easier For Guardian Readers To Look Good

From The Daily Mash

ISRAEL'S attack on a Palestinian aid ship will make it easier for Guardian readers to sound as if they know what they are talking about, it was claimed last night.

A cretin about to say something wrong that everyone agrees with

Experts warned Tel Aviv that every time it launches a seemingly unprovoked or disproportionate attack it allows at least 10,000 cretins to say something at a dinner party that everyone then agrees with.

Dr Martin Bishop, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Benjamin Netanyahu has to realise that his aggressive stance towards Hamas and Hezbollah is playing into the hands of some of the worst people in the world.

"I simply cannot sit through another dinner party with some speccie fucker spouting off about Israel while all the single, attractive women around the table stare at him like he was Martin Luther King.

"Meanwhile I'm sitting there knowing it's actually a tad more complicated and that the Israelis are dealing with people who will not rest until it they've all been wiped from the face of the Earth and if it was us then we might just get a bit jumpy too, particularly if someone had tried to do it before. 

"But if I come out and say that then this vegetarian ponce is going to accuse me of wanting to make a fancy cocktail with the blood of Palestinian babies and there goes any chance I may have of picking off the drunkest woman from the pack.

"If they could just protect their borders against exploding maniacs with a little more tact then that would help me enormously in my quest for a really good blow job."

But Julian Cook, a grade six Guardian reader from Highbury, said: "There's a fascinating piece by Jonathan Freedland which sums up my feelings exactly - and he's Jewish so that means I must be right. At least I think he's Jewish. He certainly looks like a Jew."

And Helen Archer, a social worker from Finsbury Park who keeps a photo of Polly Toynbee in her purse, added: "Israel are acting like Nazis - there, I said it."

Meanwhile, Mr Netanyahu has refused to apologise for the the attack and instead staged a press conference where he accused a two month old kitten of giving him a funny look, before tossing it casually under a passing steamroller.

Dr Bishop added: "Oh for fuck's sake." 

Israel’s war is the West’s too

Again, ten out of ten to The Telegraph for this

It is all too easy for smug, self-righteous politicians in the West to pour scorn upon Israel’s actions in the face of its enemies, from the safety of European capitals thousands of miles away from Hamas rockets. The outpouring of hatred towards Israel following the shoot-out aboard an “aid” vessel headed towards Gaza earlier this week has been overwhelming, yet sadly predictable. From London to Berlin, Paris and Brussels, the vitriol against a close friend and ally has been both ugly and brutal, with language that is rarely used if at all these days, even against the likes of odious tyrannies such as North Korea or Sudan.

It seems that a special place in hell has been reserved for Israel, not only in the eyes of the Islamic world, but for many in the West as well. I cannot think of any country on earth that is more consistently reviled by the international community, and persecuted by the likes of the UN or the European Union, than this small nation of seven million people, who have bravely fought seven wars just to stay alive.

Yet, as Douglas Murray pointed out in an excellent post, Israel’s enemies are ours too. Make no mistake. The barbaric terrorist groups including Hamas and Hizbollah, whose very existence revolves around the destruction of Israel, view Britain and the United States as the Great Satan as well. Their poisonous Islamist ideology, backed by Syria and Iran, is a deadly threat not only to Israel, but to the West as well. The defeat of these terrorist organisations as well as the dictatorships that back them, is in the fundamental national interest of both the US and UK.

Israel is on the front line of the war against Islamist terrorism, and fights every day for its existence amidst a sea of hostility. I am in no doubt that faced with the same situation, Americans and Britons would also be fighting tooth and nail for their survival as well. The Israelis are engaged in a long term war against vicious enemies, a vital component of a global war the free world is waging against Islamists.

Those who condemn Israel’s use of “disproportionate force” would do well to remember that her foes are our deadly opponents too. If Israel is defeated the security of the West itself would be significantly undermined. There is no middle ground in this war – political leaders in the West must decide whose side they are on – the defenders of freedom in the Middle East or the forces of terrorism and tyranny that threaten them.

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Knives, batons and attempted lynchings. Don't you just love 'peace activists'?

From The Telegraph

Looking at the papers, I’m still trying to work out why the media seem to think the attempted lynching of Israeli military personnel is the behaviour of “peace activists”. As Haaretz reports:

From the Rambam Hospital in Haifa, Captain R. said that every commando who entered the ship was met by a number of activists who charged at the soldiers and attacked them. At least 75 percent of the activists took part in what the soldiers later described as a “lynch.”

“I was the second to be lowered in by rope,” said Captain R. “My comrade who had already been dropped in was surrounded by a bunch of people. It started off as a one-on-one fight, but then more and more people started jumping us. I had to fight against quite a few terrorists who were armed with knives and batons.”

The captain said that he was first forced to cock his gun and shoot once when one of the activists came toward him with a knife.

“At that point, another twenty people starting coming at me from every direction,” said Captain R. “They jumped at me and hurled me to the deck below the bridge. Then I felt a stabbing in my stomach – it was a knife. I pulled it our and somehow managed to get to the lower level. There, was another mob of people.”

The unit had seized control of the ship by that point, save for the lower-most level. “Another soldier and I managed to get out of there and jump into the water.”

The commandos had been well-prepared for the mission, said the captain, and had taken into account that the activists might respond with violence. “We thought it would be passive resistance, maybe verbal, but not at such strength,” he said.

Despite the tragic results, the captain said he felt his soldiers had operated in a justified fashion. “We worked in an outstanding way, with the values that were instilled in us,” he said. “We only turned our weapons against those who put us in danger.”

Now. Why would people on board a “peace mission” behave like this? Surely it couldn’t be because of the involvement of, among others, the Turkish IHH? Or the fact that the whole thing is a Hamas stunt.

Watching the British commentariat condemning instead of congratulating Israel for stopping the opening of a new gun-running route into Gaza is weird. What’s not to like? It’s not as though these knife-wielding Hamas goons weren’t given warning that this isn’t the way to get legitimate aid to the people of Gaza. Besides, some of them seemed really hot for “martyrdom“.

Those on the “flotilla” who weren’t eager to go all the way should be glad it wasn’t the French navy they were up against. Or they would be at the bottom of the ocean by now.

Enough will be written about the double-standards of all this. I would just add the following.

The reaction to this incident demonstrates once again that many people in Britain just cannot see that Israel’s enemies are our enemies. Not because we want it that way. But because our enemies want it that way. Much of the British commentariat seem desperate to pretend it isn’t so, because they wish it wasn’t so.

As they continue trying to wish the uncomfortable facts away I do wish they’d listen to the Egyptian Yemen-based cleric Wagdi Ghoneim. Wagdi’s not always been a favourite of mine. But yesterday,on Al-Jazeera, he explained: “Hamas is fighting America, Europe and all the crusader West.”

Exactly. Which is why we should be thankful to Israel for fighting for all of us.

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It was self-defence !

WTF did the left wing tree-hugging do-gooders expect? Isreal to welcome them with open arms?


HAMAS and some of the hard-line fanatical Palestine terrorists routinely launch rockets - with high explosive warheads - into civilian areas of mainland Israel. Not just the so-called 'occupied territories'.


So bearing the depth and anger that Israel rightly percieves against anyone trying to assist these terrorists ... what the fuck did they expect?

I've seen the footage (Turkish footage I might add) on the BBC and I couldn't believe the incongruity between the reportage and the pictures.

If soldiers are sent in to a confined space and then attacked by steel rod bearing psychos wearing masks, taken and thrown bodily off the top deck, stabbed and possibly even shot at what do people exactly imagine is going to happen? Check out this video!

Those who attacked the Israelis were not just up for a bit of fisticuffs. Those soldiers lives were threatened and they reacted to protect themselves with what they had to hand. Nobody sent in Apaches or F16s. Those talking about a massacre are full of crap and don't know what the hell they're talking about.

A solider, hell anybody, will defend defend himself with what he has to hand. I'm just surprised there wasn't gunfire sooner.


They asked for it and got it !

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