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Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts

Monday, 7 June 2010

It's Only Going To Hurt If ...

Taken from Old Holborn's Brilliant Post
Read the full version here






viscious child cruelty, 50 years ago


Cameron is preparing the ground for a massive cut in public services and hopefully a reduction in our bloated state in order to reduce the deficit that 13 years of a psychotic Labour gave us. Bring it on I say. It will affect every man, woman and child he says, perhaps for decades. No it won't. Not me.

You will only "suffer" if:


  • You cannot play a game of football without astroturf or floodlights, courtesy of the Council and a £3m pitch to keep da Yoof happy. In every town and village up and down the land.
  • You really liked having an Olympic pool in your town, even though you never used it.
  • You need everything translated into Somali
  • You have decided Poles are the right people to pick carrots whilst you are the right person to sit on the sofa all day claiming benefits
  • You are so incapable as a parent, you need an army of hairy lipped sandalistas to do the job for you.
  • You are incapable of taking responsibility for your own behaviour and actions
  • You demand your child has one on one tuition at my cost because it's easier than teaching him not to stab anyone at school
  • You bought things to impress other people and can't make the payments
  • You got your job because you are unemployable in the private sector
  • Your lifestyle "choices" make you unemployable
  • You believe that astral gems and aromatherapy are really needed in remote Welsh villages
  • You are fat and demand I buy you a mobility scooter instead of hitting the salads
  • You think it is your right to be treated equally even though you are a convicted thief
  • You think it is the States job to feed you, house you and clothe you
  • You are a Communist and expect everything for nothing, like in the 70's.
  • You are Welsh or Scottish and used to living on handouts whilst drunkenly shouting abuse at the English, the ones paying for it all.

Read the full version here


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Saturday, 29 May 2010

Bad Laws!

From Constantly Furious



Much squealing, wailing and moaning in the Blogosphere and the Twitterverse about poor little David Laws, a man who has plunged from hero to zero in the space of a few hours.

There's also a lot of bickering about the rights and wrongs of the whole shambles, dominated by the pink elephant in the room: "is it because he is a gayer?".

Of course it fucking isn't. An expenses trougher is an expenses trougher, regardless of which end he bowls from. See picture to the right for details.

This furore is absolutely bugger all (oops) to do with Laws' sexuality and everything to do - as always in the ol' expenses scandals - about a genuine deadly sin: Greed.

If 'Genius' Laws had not wanted anybody looking too closely at his 'private' life, wouldn't he have been much better off not asking us, the taxpayers, to fucking well fund it?

He's supposedly a very successful banker - could he have just worn the costs himself? Was his little 'secret' not worth that much? Or did he just think he'd never be rumbled?

Surely, if you ask us, the taxpayers, to pay for something, then we, the taxpayers, might well wonder what the fuck that something is?

Whereas if you don't ask us, the taxpayers, to pay for something, then it really is none of our, the taxpayers', fucking business?


And if you want your domestic arrangements - whatever they are - kept secret, for any reason then .. well .. duh!

Or am I missing something here?

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Friday, 28 May 2010

Meet Our New Treasury Boss !

From Old Holborn


I give up

The tax payer has been financing his gay lover lobbyist.

Nope. It seems we really are going to need a revolution.

Old - But Still Amusing! Understanding Political Theories.

Just stumbled across this old little joke that made me chuckle so thought I would share for those that might not have seen it before - 


Understanding Political Theories.

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the President is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly - listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the US constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."



Obviously we at TTB prefer the Surrealism Government Model


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Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Mummy, Daddy, Children ... Are You Sitting Comfortably?


Then I'll begin

Parents

Your children, if aged 13 and under have only ever lived under a New Labour government. That means you have not had to take responsibility for their education, discipline, welfare, behaviour or aspirations. You have been taught to give them all they require and send the bill to the Government who promised to look after everything as long as you voted for them. Nike trainers, PS3's on demand, iPhones for under 10's, the lot. and if you couldn't afford it, Labour made sure that every credit shark in the business could lend you money you couldn't afford to repay.

If your partner legged it, so what, more tax credits. If little Timmy punched a teacher, so what, he'll get extra sweets from an ADHD diversity coordinator and if he burnt down the house, so what, Labour would give you another one. If he can't read and write, so what, he'll go on the Social and get a flat for his now pregnant girlfriend he met last night. No need to worry about the kids, that's what the state is for, ain't my fault, innit.

Well guess what? That's coming to an end. If you didn't bother to nurture your offspring, the State will no longer take responsibility for them. You will. Chardonnay is not going to get a council house because she dropped them as soon as she could to the first passing asylum seeker with no forwarding address. She and her halfling are going to be living in your spare room, smoking your fags and wolfing down your pot noodles.

Little Connor (who is an angel, says his Nan) is not going to get one on one tuition in an effort to stop him hitting the teachers. He's going to be smashing up YOUR front room instead of a classroom. Oh, and he's not going for two weeks camping with the council diversity coordinator where he can run riot and you get a fortnights heavy drinking in. He's staying with you. Ripping up your stuff to show how creative he is. And the army of hairy lippedsandalistas you normally rang and demanded "sort 'im aht, he's doin' my 'ead in" aren't going to be there anymore.

In short, the buck now stops with you. Not me, the taxpayer. Enjoy the fruits of your loins. Every horrifying minute stuck with what you allowed Labour to create in your name. Put down the remote and teach your child to read. Sit at a dinner table and eat with your child. Meals YOU have cooked. Teach him the value of food, conversation, family, money, hard work, ambition, aspiration and dreams. Show him knowledge. Teach him manners. Teach him the consequences of his decisions. Teach him respect.

Because no matter what they promised, Labour certainly didn't and now you are going to have to pick up the pieces. I wish you luck, you're going to need it.

Children

Your world is about to change dramatically. In order to survive, you are going to have to do things you have never done before. You are going to have to acquire skills that will enable you to live in a world where there are no free hand outs and no one is being paid to put up with your abuse anymore. Trust me, they aren't going to do it for free either.

If you decide that school is a pain, family is shit, money is everything and having a laugh whilst someone else pays and deals with the mess, then you are in for a shock. It isn't your fault but it IS up to you to sort it out. And you can. You have a unique opportunity to crawl out of the pond that so many of today's neets are mindlessly swimming in and you'd better make sure you're in the first wave who do, because sure as eggs, the ladder will be pulled up.

Study. Read a book. Gain knowledge that others do not have, it will make you valuable. It will mean you do not have to live with your mum, her numerous boyfriends and Chardonnays screaming brat "doing your head in". It will give you independence to live your life as you wish, not as a Politician wished you to live it. It will give you freedom.

One thing is for sure, if you want what Labour promised, an easy idle life with no responsibility, then you are going to have to finance it yourself.

As Liam Byrne said "There's no money left". And he wasn't joking.


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Thursday, 20 May 2010

I'm Backing Balls








There's really only one choice.

Only one man has the drive and determination needed to plough the Labour Party firmly into the ground.

Only one man has the unique set of qualities required to keep up the Labour tradition of having the most hated party leader in the country.

Only one man has the requisite unrepentant thuggishness that will be guaranteed to give the new government the time and space it needs to carry through on today's pledges for a freer Britain.

Only one man can win me £100 at 10/1.

Ladies and Gentlemen, just call me Jock Strap, because... I'm supporting Balls.


This must be.



UPDATE: And, of course, we must not forget the delightful Yvette Cooper, who is joined to Ed at the hip.


Two Balls for the price of one!


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How To Wreak Revenge On Labour

Current logo of the Labour PartyImage via Wikipedia
It will cost you a pound and it all starts here.


The Labour Party is so desperate for members that it is offering the first year of Labour Party membership for just £1. In exchange for that £1, you get all the perks of Labour membership, such as voting for the leadership.

And that means that for just £1, you can help to inflict someone as useless as Diane Abbott or as poisonous and divisive as Ed Balls or Harriet Harman on the Labour Party. And immediately after the coronation of whichever cunt you helped elect, you simply resign and walk away.


Membership of the Labour Party is currently around 200,000, so if just 250,000 people sign up, we can pretty much guarantee we'll fuck them completely.


"But wait," I hear you say, "are you seriously advocating giving £250,000 to the Labour Party?" Fret ye not: the Labour Party has colossal debts, well over £10,000,000 at the last account. Our donations will do nothing to help climb that particular mountain, and by inflicting someone terminally useless or poisonous on the Labour Party, we can hopefully fuck them into a cocked hat for the rest of eternity. It's money very well spent indeed.


Who is with me?
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Wednesday, 12 May 2010

NEW GOVERNMENT STATEMENT

Quote from our New Prime Minister...



"The once, great Coal mines of Yorkshire had to be destroyed by the last Great Crusade because the great unclean people of Yorkshire would not leave their windows alone.

Now I, as the first proper Prime Minster since Saint Margaret, do hereby declare war on Yorkshire, and state that RAF Man and Artillery Bloke will lead the destruction of the Yorkshire Gravy Granule mines.

Because there will not be anything left in Yorkshire, the people can then move to France taking their Whippets, Pigeon's, flat caps, Mosque's and temples with them. The land that is left will then be disinfected, flattened and a large puppy farm will be built instead.

Let the destruction commence"





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Sunday, 9 May 2010

Election Giggles

I'm saying nothing :)
From the BBC

Asian men and BNP candidate Bob Bailey clash in Barking

BNP candidate and Asian men clash
A fight broke out between a British National Party parliamentary candidate and some Asian men as party members were out campaigning in east London.
Some men earlier swore at leader Nick Griffin and threw fruit at him and he was taken away from the scene.
The candidate for Romford, Bob Bailey, was filmed shouting out to men in Ripple Road when one of them swore and spat at him and Mr Bailey punched him.
Police were called after 1500 BST to the fight between the two groups.
'Campaign of hatred'
At the time Metropolitan Police said they were called to the incident but no-one had been arrested at the scene.
Later however, police said an 18-year-old man attended Barking police station and alleged common assault against another man.
The Barking Community Safety Unit is to look into the matter.
When asked about the fight Mr Griffin told BBC London the fight was the result of a "campaign of hatred and dehumanisation against any group of people, in this case us".
He said: "I think people have to realise that the people have spoken, this is a democratic vote and everyone has to go along with that, whether it's us, our opponents or people on the streets, and if there are a few crazies or thugs on the streets I'm sure the police will deal with them quite quickly.
"The more people in the media talk this up as an issue, the more silly kids on the streets will be inclined to take the law into their hands."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lancashire teenager voted 'to make a difference'

Alfie McKenzie
Alfie McKenzie said he was "very serious" about politics
A 14-year-old boy from Lancashire who voted in the general election said he did it because he "wanted to make a difference".
Alfie McKenzie, from Poulton-le-Fylde, voted for the Liberal Democrats in the Wyre and Preston North constituency, after being sent a polling card.
He was only caught when he confided in a teacher at school. His head teacher called the local council and police.
Ben Wallace won the seat for the Conservatives with a 15,844 majority.
Wyre Borough Council and Lancashire police have both said they are investigating.
Alfie went to his local polling station before school on Thursday, wearing a trench coat, glasses, jeans and smart shoes so officials would "think I was a Tory".
"I knew they wouldn't suspect an under-18 for voting Tory," he said.
Alfie said he was "very serious" about politics and socialism, but decided to vote Liberal Democrat as a tactical option.
He said: "There's not a socialist candidate in our area and unfortunately even if there was it would be a wasted vote. I've looked into it and the best option for a socialist is the Liberal Democrats.
"I did want to make a difference - unfortunately I didn't."
Alfie's mum, Nadine Wiseman, said she had asked him not to vote, after he received the polling card, but she "wasn't surprised" when he did.


.

The Election


(RAF Bloke reading the morning news)

Oh where to start? 


How the hell can a party that are completely and utterly defeated and not trusted by the public (Lib Dems) suddenly become the driving force of the government about to be formed?



Will the old incumbent currently squatting in No.10 do the decent thing and resign, or is he just going to cling on for grim death - which is something that BB, Marine Boy, RMP Bloke and myself would happily assist him in!



(Maybe the Royal Navy personnel in the pic above had the same ideas as us?)


What I am sure of - in my opinion - is that political reform IS needed. We need to change the 'first past the post' system to the 'majority verdict' ! 


FPTP error 404: 
Government not found. 
Please reset your voting system to proportional representation and try again


Simples !


That way we would have Brown toast, and Clegg would be back in his box along with his loony policies! (don't get me wrong - I voted UKIP as I disagree with many Tory policies, namely the bowing down to the same old politically correct bullshit, Europe, Immigration etc etc) but Cameron is probably the lesser of the three evils.



(Brown, Clegg & Cameron)


Either way - and this is what scares the crap out of me - we are now being told to 
" ... trust the politicians to do what is right for the country!"


Yeah ... right ! That's gonna happen !


SNAFU !


.





Thursday, 6 May 2010

From the Heart...


Today, is the General Election. Being the person who I am, I am immensely proud of being British and English.

I am tired of our so called elected representatives saying that they are British and they are doing what is right for our small collection of Islands without asking those who live here. Yet they are slowly giving my country to the Europeans, who for Centuries have tried to defeat us in Battle and have failed, but are now taking over my home by stealth, lies, deceit and coercion.

My point is this, whoever gets elected - I don't really care who - retains the freedom we, our friends, colleagues, fathers and grandfathers have all fought for and believe in, and return the powers so easily given away to Brussels because they have no right to any hold over us.

Let us be British again, and we will make this country Great once more.


Saturday, 1 May 2010

ANOTHER THOUGHT PROVOKING THINGY WOTSIT CALLED...

You are proud of your country, are prepared to fight, and die, for your country and want others to respect it's values and traditions. You do not want foreign nationals immigrating here unless they adopt your language, religion, beliefs and customs and respect the laws that are set by this country.


Isn't this, under current law, considered racism?

Friday, 30 April 2010

Belgium & The Burka

Bloody Hell !!
I never thought I'd say this in a million years - but for a country that only ever had one good thing going for it in Stella Artois (well, two if you include the exit routes) ...



















... Belgium has just voted for an absolute blinder !
(From the BBC website) "Belgium's lower house of parliament has voted for a law that would ban women from wearing the full Islamic face veil in public.

The law would ban any clothing that obscures the identity of the wearer in places like parks and on the street. No-one voted against it.
The law now goes to the Senate, where it may face challenges over its wording, which may delay it.
If passed, the ban would be the first move of its kind in Europe."













("Are there any women here ?!")

These garments are dangerous for the following reasons:
1 When driving, because you lose all peripheral vision, 
2 You may lose an eye wearing one because someone with colour blindness may try and stick a letter through the gap.
3 You stand a good chance of being shot as a fucking terrorist, seeing as these are the garment of choice for would be suicide bombers.

So - Well done Belgium for finding some Bollocks at last !

.

UK Election 2010

OK so there is only a few days to go now. Who is winning the race for your Vote?
For what it's worth ... here's my analysis on the main 4 parties:

Labour - They've had 13 years to get it right. The UK debt in 1997 was approx £6B ... it's now over £160B. The Chancellor of The Exchequer for ten of those years was Gordon Brown, who has been PM for the last three. He was lauded as the best economist in the UK etc etc ... yet during his watch we have had all sorts of global and natinal financial and economic disasters.

He is also a blatant two-faced liar - take his 'on oath' answers to the Iraq Enquiry about the Defence Budgets and the Rochdale incident with Gillian Duffy this week as just two examples. And how well were our troops initially equipped for Iraq & Afghanistan? Where was the planning for rebuilding Iraq?
Verdict: Time for change ... Get rid!

Conservative - Cameron talks a good game, but hasn't convinced me at all. Still too politically correct for my liking and not willing to say it as it is.

Defence comes across well, but I'm not sure if the rest of the policies stand up to close scrutiny. Immigration is way too liberal in my view. Still seems to be the party for the rich. Bring back Maggie!
Verdict: I've always voted Conservative before - but not this time


Lib Dems - Clegg has the most presence (in the TV Debates) and comes across as more convincing on a personality basis but his policies on Defence & Immigration in particular would be a disaster.

Does he really think getting rid of the RAF Typhoon programme is viable, that a nuclear equipped Iran & North Korea would disarm if we binned Trident and that they wouldn't be a major threat? What about China & the resurgent Russia?

(picture: RAF Typhoons intercepting Russian bombers in UK Airspace in 2010)
And as for allowing illegal immigrants here to become 'legal' ... ?! Cuckoo !
Verdict: Well meaning but ultimately extremely dangerous

UK Independence Party
Might sound biased here but I can't fault their policies at all !

Education, Health, Europe, Defence & Immigration all get my vote !
Read them for yourself
No way will they form the next government, but a few seats will allow them to sanitise some of the insanity from the main three parties
Verdict: X marks the spot!


Others
The BNP couldn't run a bath, let alone a country, and The Green Party are only strong on the environment (and will cripple you financially as a motorist).
Apologies to Scottish & Welsh readers, but I don't know enough about the SNP or Plaid Cymru to comment.
And as for Sinn Fein ? Hmm ... I reckon you can guesss my thoughts on them !


Undecided?
Here is a handy all party policy comparison page from the BBC.

Cast Your Vote in our unofficial poll on the left hand side of our front page.

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Thursday, 29 April 2010

ABSENCE APOLOGY FROM BREAKFAST BLOKE

I am sorry for my absence and lack of comments yesterday - I had to pay an unexpected visit to a local hospital. Let me explain, I was watching Sky News and was laughing so much my sides split open, fell off the sofa, landed on the pet hippo but squashed the fish (I had let them out of the pond for good behavior). My sides are now healed but I have been advised to cease watching television that involves a stupid, scottish, one eyed, 2 faced, lying jock communist.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Brown Apologises In Person !

OMG! Watch the sly insincere smarmy twat in the link below !


WHAT A CREEP !!!

.

The Top 50 Election Quotes So Far (The Times, April 27th)

Click Here To Read Them. Enjoy.




.

Gordon Brown Shows His True Colours !!

Priceless !!! So much for decency and meeting the people !

Brown is caught on micophone calling an elderly female Labour supporter a 'bigot'.

Gillian Duffy talking to Gordon Brown


big·ot

  [big-uht] 











Start looking for another job Gordy !





.

INVITATION

This is an open invitation to all our Members of Parliament (I nearly put 'MP' but then RMP bolke might of misread and invited all his friends....... NOOOOOO) to join our blog.

The invitation is for one simple reason, YOU ALL TALK F*****G BOLLOCKS ANYWAY.

Our Election Manifesto pt 3 ... Domestic & Environmental Policies

1. All Catholic Priests must sign the sex register upon Ordination and will be banned from keeping small boys under their beds or in their closets.


2. All tree huggers will be treated as perverts and be prosecuted under the 2008 Tree Preservation Order.


3. The wearing of Burkas or other letter-box fancy dress gear will be outlawed immediately. Anyone caught wearing them will be subject to the penalties under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy.  


4. Anyone found trying to implement Sharia Law in the UK will be subject to the penalties under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy.


5. A light curfew will be implemented at 22:00hrs daily in order to save on CO2 emmisions, light polution and help save moths and insects from incineration (ie "going into the light"). 


6. Anyone under the age of 21 found on the streets after 22:00hrs is liable to be arrested or shot.


7. PCSOs will be disbanded and replaced by real policemen and women, equipped with Night Vision Goggles and HK MP5s. (to assist in the upkeep of Article 6)


8. To help protect the youth of the future, all Catholic schools will be burnt down.


9. Capital Punishment will be reinstated immediately for bankers, rapists, paedophiles, bent lawyers, and murderers in the form of Public Burnings At The Stake. These Burnings will take place on Friday evenings at 20:00 and will be known as The BBQ Hour. (see Article 27)


10.  UK Territorial Waters will be doubled to 24nm and exclusive fishing rights will be granted to UK fishing vessels only.


11. Highways Agency Traffic Officers, VOSA, Traffic Wardens & St John's Ambulance will be disbanded and it's members forced into real employment.


12. All teaching staff are to be allowed to use maximum force against unruly pupils where warranted. Dumbbells and HK MP5s will be standard classroom issue to staff.


13. UK Military Rules of Engagement currently require a warning to be issued before opening fire. Currently it states that the warning 'Army/RAF/Marines etc - Stop Or I Fire' should be shouted twice. This will be changed to one shout of 'Freeze Bitch Or Else!'. 


14. Minimum driving and drinking age limits will be raised to over 25's only


15. All foreign vehicles must pay UK road tax for using UK roads.


16. All Sunday drivers and OAPs will be banned from driving to assist CO2 emissions.


17. Ryanair & Air France will be banned from UK airports and airways to reduce CO2 emissions and ugly people.


18. Country Singers will be banned and subject to the penalties under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy. (except Miley Cyrus and Shania Twain).


19. In order to have a truly equal society, the MOBOs and Association of Black Police Officers etc will be banned.


20. A new post of UK President will be created in which Jeremy Clarkson will be Knighted and given the role.


21. All Daytime TV, Soap Dramas, crap TV ads, RomComs, GMTV, MUTV, Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing On Ice & Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber programmes will be banned immediately.


22. Anyone preaching or trying to implement Political Correctness will be subject to the penalties under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy.


23. The Human Rights Act 1998 will be revoked immediately, along with all associated agencies.


24. National Lottery Funding will only be given to viable British projects.


25. All Charity monies raised can only be donated to British Causes.


26. The National Anthem will be replaced with Rule Britannia (Royal Navy personnel are banned from dancing along to this though. See Article 8 of the Foreign & Defence Policy). 


27. Solid Fuels will be reduced and Renewable Fuels for homes & businesses will become mandatory by 2015. The bodies of OAPs and those incinerated under Article 9, will be recycled into Renewable Fuel to assist in this process.


28. All Mobility Scooters will be permanently banned from public areas.


29. All ugly & smelly people will be sent to live in France where they will go unnoticed.


30. All Ginger people will be sent back to Scotland.