1. All Catholic Priests must sign the sex register upon Ordination and will be banned from keeping small boys under their beds or in their closets.
2. All tree huggers will be treated as perverts and be prosecuted under the 2008 Tree Preservation Order.
3. The wearing of Burkas or other letter-box fancy dress gear will be outlawed immediately. Anyone caught wearing them will be subject to the penalties under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy.
4. Anyone found trying to implement Sharia Law in the UK will be subject to the penalties under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy.
5. A light curfew will be implemented at 22:00hrs daily in order to save on CO2 emmisions, light polution and help save moths and insects from incineration (ie "going into the light").
6. Anyone under the age of 21 found on the streets after 22:00hrs is liable to be arrested or shot.
7. PCSOs will be disbanded and replaced by real policemen and women, equipped with Night Vision Goggles and HK MP5s. (to assist in the upkeep of Article 6)
8. To help protect the youth of the future, all Catholic schools will be burnt down.
9. Capital Punishment will be reinstated immediately for bankers, rapists, paedophiles, bent lawyers, and murderers in the form of Public Burnings At The Stake. These Burnings will take place on Friday evenings at 20:00 and will be known as The BBQ Hour. (see Article 27)
10. UK Territorial Waters will be doubled to 24nm and exclusive fishing rights will be granted to UK fishing vessels only.
11. Highways Agency Traffic Officers, VOSA, Traffic Wardens & St John's Ambulance will be disbanded and it's members forced into real employment.
12. All teaching staff are to be allowed to use maximum force against unruly pupils where warranted. Dumbbells and HK MP5s will be standard classroom issue to staff.
13. UK Military Rules of Engagement currently require a warning to be issued before opening fire. Currently it states that the warning 'Army/RAF/Marines etc - Stop Or I Fire' should be shouted twice. This will be changed to one shout of 'Freeze Bitch Or Else!'.
14. Minimum driving and drinking age limits will be raised to over 25's only
15. All foreign vehicles must pay UK road tax for using UK roads.
16. All Sunday drivers and OAPs will be banned from driving to assist CO2 emissions.
17. Ryanair & Air France will be banned from UK airports and airways to reduce CO2 emissions and ugly people.
18. Country Singers will be banned and subject to the penalties under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy. (except Miley Cyrus and Shania Twain).
19. In order to have a truly equal society, the MOBOs and Association of Black Police Officers etc will be banned.
20. A new post of UK President will be created in which Jeremy Clarkson will be Knighted and given the role.
21. All Daytime TV, Soap Dramas, crap TV ads, RomComs, GMTV, MUTV, Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing On Ice & Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber programmes will be banned immediately.
22. Anyone preaching or trying to implement Political Correctness will be subject to the penalties under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy.
23. The Human Rights Act 1998 will be revoked immediately, along with all associated agencies.
24. National Lottery Funding will only be given to viable British projects.
25. All Charity monies raised can only be donated to British Causes.
26. The National Anthem will be replaced with Rule Britannia (Royal Navy personnel are banned from dancing along to this though. See Article 8 of the Foreign & Defence Policy).
27. Solid Fuels will be reduced and Renewable Fuels for homes & businesses will become mandatory by 2015. The bodies of OAPs and those incinerated under Article 9, will be recycled into Renewable Fuel to assist in this process.
28. All Mobility Scooters will be permanently banned from public areas.
29. All ugly & smelly people will be sent to live in France where they will go unnoticed.
30. All Ginger people will be sent back to Scotland.
With refererence to Item 27, shouldn't you be setting an example??
ReplyDeleteDon't push it rent boy !! lol
ReplyDelete