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Wednesday 28 April 2010

Our Election Manifesto pt 2 ... Foreign & Defence Policies

1 The ancient rule of Prima Nocta will be immediately reintroduced in Scotland.

2 Irn Bru & Deep Fried Mars Bars in Scotland will be classified as Class A drugs and banned immediately.

3 All Welsh Nationals will be required to rescind their crimes against sheep and be forced to adopt St George as their Patron Saint.

4 If no significant improvement in the French attitude towards Britain is obvious within six months, a State of War will be declared on the garlic smelling snail eating arrogant cocks.

5 The US will be required to include France, Belgium, Germany, Iceland & Argentina on the Axis of Evil list.

6 Full military and economic aid will be accorded to the State of Israel.

7 French & Spanish fishing vessels will be sunk on sight within British Territorial Waters (again creating meaningful employment for The Royal Navy).

8 Royal Navy male personnel will be banned from dancing with each other and wearing women's clothing when off duty.

9 Iceland will be forced to plug all Volcanoes and pay back every penny owed to the UK by their inept banking structure.

10 The UK first strike policy of nuclear warheads will be permissible against all countries on the Axis of Evil, especially France. France itself and it's colonies will be legal territory for the testing of UK nuclear weapons.

11 The 1997 Transfer of Sovereignty for Hong Kong to China will be revoked. China will be required to hand over Hong Kong Territories immediately to the UK. Failure to comply will result in the immediate takeover of all UK based Chinese Restaurants and repatriation of Chinese Nationals under Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy.

12 The US & all EU Nations will be required to implement a total ban on all Corned Beef imports from Argentina, thus crippling the Argentinian economy and reducing their ability to invade British territories ever again.

13 All monies saved from Article 1 of our Immigration & Employment policy will be added to the Defence Budget.

14 All foreign economic and development aid to third world nations will cease immediately and the monies saved will be used in the UK (but not Wales).

15 All UK households will be required to have a shed at the bottom of their garden or yard, in which this will become the permanent residence (whilst in the country) of all persons allowed entry into the UK under Article 3 of our Immigration & Employment policy.


16 EU Subsidies will be redistributed fairly as follows: 50% to the UK, and the rest shared equally to all other EU countries apart from France and Germany.


17 The EU Parliament currently based in Brussels will be relocated to Manchester. All EU Laws will only be passed upon agreement of the UK. Any policies or laws not deemed beneficial to the UK will be vetoed immediately and the proposing nation will be added to the Axis of Evil and subject to all penalties included in Article 10.




2 comments:

  1. Prima Nocta not good - have you seen Subo?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fuck !! I hadn't thought of that !! Ugh !!

    ReplyDelete

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