Marine Boy & RMP Bloke have just informed Artillery Bloke and myself that Arthur DID actually have a transmitter after all, and despite his well known ineptitude with anything technical, it appears that he may have actually sent a message of help to his best friend ! (well, 'acquaintance' would be more accurate ... as in he has some dodgy pictures of the bloke and is using bribery and extortion to get rescued!)
We thought we'd confiscated everything and blown up the obvious cavity with which he normally communicates, as no-one can understand a fucking thing that comes out of his mouth!
It appears we were mistaken!
Worryingly though, we believe that the senile old tosser's message actually may have reached his intended recipient ... and as a consequence, as soon as I have finished inaugurating the latest Butler intake, and Artillery gets back from the Puppy Convention, we will be increasing security around the doddering old git to ensure he can't escape - or be rescued.
Unfortunately, a civil rights 'rapist from Yorkshire has subpoenaed RMP Bloke for a recording of the transmission under the Freedom Of Information Act.
Bloody Do-Gooders !
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The consequences of rescue are serious. Athur should not be let out - at all, ever! Security has been increased - we now have poisonous, tracker sniffer snakes. I have requested that the parents of some of my former special friends (I have been cured) make themselves available for guarding activities.
ReplyDeleteI may have to cut short the Butler Inductions ... (not happy!) ... as I just had a phone call from Kate Adie saying that she had heard the message and wants to report from TTB HQ!
ReplyDeleteWe must be in deep cack !!
We're Doomed !!
Hey ... you're really going to enlist the help of grown-ups as well ??
And with the greatest of respect my Misfiring Mate ... I wouldn't exactly describe you as 'cured' !!!
Anyway, apart from Poisonous Tracker Sniffer Snakes, I've ordered some Lethal Licking Mesmorising Marmosets as well ... so we should be OK as long as we give them the password and some ginger nuts ... which I thought was a strange request ... because when I asked them if they prefer McVities, they said no because he was grey !
Fucking pri-madonnas !
Dont worry Arthur Help is on its way!!
ReplyDeleteI Believe the STIG has manufactured a new form of nerve agent called TWAT-Nip ! Similar to Catnip but when it's sprinkled liberaly around Pseudo military regects like in the TTB, they will find themselves rolling around in the stuff pretty much like cats do, But muttering "This is my rifle This is my gun, Please will you tickle my tum tum tum "!!
ReplyDeleteBy Which time jezza, captain slow, and hammond will have sprung dear old Arthur...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!
If Kate Adie is being deployed I'M OFF! If she gets there we are literally screwed. Scarey woman...
ReplyDeleteWait, hang on, she is scared of belly button fluff! Yes, the fur from your naval...
RAFB get collecting...
To ANONYMOUSSE.....
ReplyDeleteYou and whose Army?
Come on then if you think you're hard enough...
Yeah!!!
AnonyNun ... unless you're some kinda super stealth Ninja-Jedi like what I am, then 'one is not amused!'
ReplyDeleteTWAT-Nip does sound a little bit worrying admittedly - but I doubt that you can have it ready in-time for Arthur's execution (not that I pre-empt his findings at the Kangaroo Court obviously as we operate a fair trial under the Geneva Convention - honest Guv!)
Bring it on Bitch ! ;)
To Arse-still-hairy Bloke
ReplyDeleteIt must be hard for you to get the big picture, when you have such a small screen,
P.S. Did your sideshow leave town without you....
To Real Asbo Fairy Bloke
ReplyDeleteI'm not as dumb, as you look Pal
Leave Arthur alone or else !!
Ah bless ... Anon thinks he's big & clever!
ReplyDeleteI'll type this really slowly Anon, 'cos you obviously can't read fast ...
Leave Arthur alone?
Hmmm ... let me think ... oh yeah, got it ... no!
Sounds to me as is you've been sniffing you're own TWAT-Nip !
Arthur deserves all he gets ... and his execution cometh soon!
Toodle Pip Old Chap!
Me thinks anonying twat - soory anonymouse, is all talk and no action.
ReplyDeleteIf he is indeed the Great Arthur Saviour then prove it. Unless he wants him for his own devious purposes.....
If that is the case, then open negiotiations or fuck off and die - just like what Arthur will do.....
ooooh do we have claws out here and handbags at 10 paces boys lol
ReplyDeleteDon't take the piss DumbBlonde ...
ReplyDelete... some fucker has just sprung Arthur !!!
Anon you are a hunted man !!!